Breaking the Mold: Being the Sole Breadwinner in a Modern Family

When people picture a “traditional” household, many still default to the same image: a man going off to work while a woman stays home with the kids. But that picture is quickly changing and it has been for decades.

According to Pew Research, in 1972, husbands were the primary or sole breadwinners in 85% of American households. By 2022, that number dropped to 55%. Meanwhile, the number of women who are the primary or sole breadwinners has grown from just 5% to 16%; that trend is still climbing.

Yet despite these shifts, many people still carry outdated ideas about who should be earning and who should be at home.

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Living It Firsthand

I’m the sole earner in my household, and I can’t tell you how many unsolicited opinions I’ve received about it. Some people can’t seem to wrap their minds around the fact that my fiancé stays home with our daughter while I work. Their reactions often reveal a deeply ingrained belief: men should earn, and women should care for the children.

But here’s the question I always come back to: if the roles were reversed and I stayed home while he worked, would those same people feel more comfortable? Why does the financial burden feel more acceptable when it’s on a man’s shoulders?

Because let’s be real, being the sole breadwinner is stressful, regardless of gender. The bills don’t shrink because a man pays them. The burden doesn’t feel lighter just because society thinks it looks “right.”

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Making It Work for Us

In our home, the arrangement works. Our daughter gets to stay with her dad while I go into the office 1–2 times a week. Do I miss a few moments? Yes. But childcare costs alone can feel like a second rent payment, and we’re grateful we don’t carry that extra financial strain.

Even more importantly, my daughter gets to see me as an example: a woman who works hard, provides for her family, and still shows up at home. To me, that’s just as valuable as teaching her ABCs or cheering her on at the park.

Whether it’s the man or the woman who earns the paycheck shouldn’t be the headline. The focus should be on the fact that the family’s needs are being met. There’s food on the table, bills paid, and a child who receives love and care from both parents.

Families thrive in all kinds of configurations. The blessing isn’t who brings home the money; it’s that the family is supported, safe, and loved.

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Food for Thought

Don’t be afraid to break away from the crowd. History has never been shaped by people who clung to the status quo. Sometimes rewriting the script for your family is exactly what creates a stronger future, for you, your partner, and the little ones watching it all unfold.