Breaking the Silence on Postpartum Depression

Talaya Murphy
Oct 22
3 min read

A Crash After the High

That moment when you first see your baby, it’s indescribable. You’re filled with love, awe, and disbelief that this little human came from you. But once the adrenaline fades, reality hits. The sleepless nights, the healing, the hormones, the crying (yours and the baby’s), and the overwhelming pressure to figure out motherhood.

You’re trying to nurture this new life while also mourning the version of yourself that no longer exists — the woman who had time, energy, and a sense of control over her emotions. She’s changed. And when you already feel like you’ve lost yourself, trying to “stay in control” can feel almost impossible.

No one really prepares you for how disorienting that transformation can be, or what happens behind the curtain of new motherhood.

We Need to Talk About It More

Postpartum depression (PPD) doesn’t follow a set timeline. It can begin anytime within the first year after giving birth. For some women, symptoms show up immediately; for others, they sneak in weeks or months later. I started to feel it around two months postpartum, when the initial rush faded and life’s pressures started stacking up.

Major life stressors can intensify PPD. Things like financial strain, relationship challenges, lack of support, or moving away from family can make an already tender situation feel unbearable. When everything around you feels unstable, the weight of motherhood can press down even harder. And in this day and age, starting a family right now can come with immense pressure and strain.

Sometimes, you feel more alone than you’ve ever felt and that isolation can turn into anger. Not because you don’t love your baby, but because you’re overwhelmed, unseen, and exhausted from trying to hold it all together.

My Reality Check

At my six-week postpartum appointment, I “failed” the depression screening quiz. I had been dealing with unnecessary drama, cutting people out of my life, being cut out of others’, and realizing that the people I thought would be there for me were nowhere to be found.

I eventually sought therapy and went on medication for about a month to help regulate my emotions. But I wasn’t happy, or sad, or angry, I was nothing. Just a shell of myself, moving through the motions of what was expected of me.

Some moms feel exactly like that. And then the guilt sets in, because you should be grateful, right? You have this beautiful baby, and you love them. But that doesn’t erase the emotional chaos that comes with such a huge life shift. You can be happy and sad at the same time.

Both can exist.

The Many Faces of PPD

You might not experience PPD with your first baby, but it can hit like a tsunami the second, third, or fourth time around. Sometimes it’s lighter, sometimes worse. It’s unpredictable, the mightiest “morpher” I’ve ever encountered.

You might even feel regret and while that’s hard to admit, it’s normal. Nothing truly prepares you for how motherhood can stretch and test you, until you are experiencing it first hand. I hope the more we talk about it, the more we relate to one another and validate our feelings, the less lonely it becomes.

If any of this sounds familiar, please know this: you’re not broken, and you’re not a bad mother. You’re human. And there is help — even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Final Thoughts

Motherhood changes everything — your body, your mind, your sense of self. But it shouldn’t change your access to compassion or care.

Postpartum depression can happen to anyone, for reasons that aren’t always clear. Reducing the shame and stigma around it starts with speaking up, reaching out, and getting help when you need it.

You are not alone, and you deserve support.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can reach out for help: