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From Two to Three: C-Section Recovery, Relationship Strain, and Finding Our New Rhythm
- Talaya Murphy
- Jul 23
- 3 min read
When we prepared for Jordyn’s arrival, Jose and I thought we had everything mapped out. We’d done our research, talked through our birth plan, and had mentally braced ourselves for what we thought postpartum would look like.
But here’s the truth: nothing prepares you for recovering from a C-section—especially as a first-time mom, and for him, experiencing a C-section for the first time while navigating the biggest shift our relationship had ever seen.
Coming home wasn’t a sigh of relief—it was the start of a whole new challenge.
The Physical Toll No One Talks About
I couldn’t lift much, move quickly, or even sleep comfortably. And no one warned me about the s
welling—my legs and feet looked unrecognizable. Funny enough, I didn’t experience any swelling until week 36 of pregnancy, and even my nose didn’t puff up until then. But postpartum? It came in full force.
I had to elevate my body constantly, take meds every 3–4 hours, and pump around the clock. It was nonstop.
Jose was incredible. He cared for both Jordyn and me—making sure my incision stayed dry, that I took my meds, that I didn’t overdo it (even though I’m stubborn), helped me with my pumping schedule, and made sure I was eating all my meals for the day.
Still, we were both exhausted. Our communication—usually strong—began to fray. We weren’t just “us” anymore. We were “us plus her.” A beautiful shift, but a big one.
What Helped Me Heal
Since Jordyn was born during peak summer, even short walks felt like marathons. I had to get creative with recovery tools to stay as comfortable as possible:
Sanitary pad on the incision – Weird? Maybe. But it helped absorb sweat and reduce irritation—especially in the heat.
Frida Mom ice pads – Marketed for vaginal births, but they worked wonders for soothing my incision and keeping it dry too.
Elevated legs + compression socks – The swelling was real. Keeping my feet up and using compression helped manage the puffiness and discomfort.
I had prepped for a vaginal birth, but many of those items still helped during my C-section recovery. The key was adapting with what I had.
Jose also bought a bassinet for the living room so Jordyn could nap nearby. Originally, we wanted her to sleep in her crib to avoid co-sleeping habits. But with our bedroom down what felt like a bridge to Narnia, sleeping on the couch became the only option.
That bassinet gave me a sense of calm and reduced the mom guilt that crept in daily.
Healing As a Couple
Introducing a baby into your relationship isn’t just about taking turns with diaper duty—it’s about re-learning each other under brand-new circumstances.
Jose and I had to figure out how to communicate differently, how to support one another when we were both at capacity, and how to share space in a new way. We were tired, sometimes irritable, and often too drained to connect like we used to.
It took us about three months to find our rhythm again.
The biggest lesson? Grace.
Especially for dads and partners—because while they can empathize and be supportive, they’ll never fully grasp the depth of postpartum: the pain, the hormones, the unexplained tears. And for some of us, the emotional fog doesn’t hit right away. It can show up weeks later—unexpected and overwhelming.
But remember, dads and partners can experience their own postpartum so give GRACE.
Getting through it required patience, honesty, and compassion.
For Any New Parents Reading This
If you’re preparing for life after birth—whether it’s vaginal or C-section—know that your relationship will change. And that’s okay.
What matters most is how you evolve together. Ask for help from your circle if you can. Be honest when you're struggling. And check in with your partner—not just about the baby, but about each other.
We’re still learning every day. But what’s getting us through is a lot of grace, love, and understanding.
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