Living Paycheck to Paycheck: How Childhood Lessons Shape Our Money Struggles as Adults

Money has always felt like a shadow in my family’s story. From what I can remember, there was never quite enough, and financial stability seemed like something other people had — not us. I sometimes think about my other family members who, in my eyes, must have gotten some secret handbook that our parents didn’t.

Where we have had that thought of, did I get raised by the wrong family?

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I once saw a TikTok where someone joked, “So you’re telling me not one of my ancestors figured out how to create generational wealth?” And honestly, I’ve had that thought more times than I can count.

It wasn’t that we were “poor” in the traditional sense, but money always dictated our choices. When we moved from California to New York, I started to notice the subtle shifts: off-brand groceries, hand-me-downs, and the constant awareness that wants — and even needs — had to be pushed down the list.

As more siblings came along, my place in the household shifted too. My role became less about being a child and more about being “the help” — a babysitter, a third parent, someone whose own needs could wait.

That’s where I learned the dangerous lesson that neglecting myself was “for the greater good.” Shoes that fit? Undergarments that weren’t stretched thin? Clothes that reflected me? Those became luxuries.

Looking back, I realize that’s probably why I never developed a sense of style or the urge to keep up with trends. My energy was spent elsewhere: surviving, helping, filling in the gaps.

But here’s the thing: I swore to myself I wouldn’t live this way as an adult. I didn’t want my child to feel invisible, or like their needs were always last on the list.

I wanted them to see that money could be a tool for security and opportunity — not a chain. And yet, somehow, I’ve found myself repeating patterns. Like so many of us, I’ve become part of the paycheck-to-paycheck machine.

The truth is, financial literacy isn’t taught to us — not at home, not in school. Unless your parents made it a priority, you’re left to figure it out by trial and error.

And often, those errors add up to debt, stress, and cycles that are nearly impossible to break. People love to say, “Well, I paid my way through school,” or, “I pulled myself out of debt by working two jobs and never sleeping.” But that advice rings hollow when someone’s daily reality is already consumed by survival. Not everyone has the privilege to “grind” their way out.

Sometimes I imagine what life would look like if I hit the lottery. I used to joke that nothing would change — but I know now everything would. I’d wipe out debt, build a real foundation for my family, and make sure my child never felt the scarcity I did.

I’d also want to pour resources into teaching kids what I never learned: how to save, invest, and build wealth in a system that wasn’t designed for us to thrive. Because it’s not just about money — it’s about freedom, dignity, and rewriting the story for the next generation.

The paycheck-to-paycheck machine isn’t inevitable, even though it feels like it. But breaking it requires access, education, and opportunity. My hope is that we begin teaching financial literacy as a tool of survival and empowerment, so our children don’t inherit the same struggles we endured now.

Because we deserve more than scraping by — we deserve the chance to build a legacy.