Pulled in Every Direction: Balancing the Needs of Others Without Losing Myself

Lately, I’ve felt like I’m wearing a dozen hats all at once. I go from being a mom, to a partner, clock in and out of work, to a friend, to a daughter, and just… me. Everyone seems to need me to show up for them, and while I want to, there are days when I feel stretched so thin that I wonder where my time fit in.

I am continuously trying to find balance in this new mom life, and it often feels like once you become one, everyone needs your time.

No one really prepares you for this part of life, especially when you have a new family. There are only 24 hours in a day, and sometimes it feels impossible to make enough space for everyone else, let alone myself. As a mother, I’ve noticed that the pull is strong. My child comes first, but then there’s still work to do for income, relationships to nurture, a household to manage, and somewhere in there, my own needs are waiting patiently at the bottom of the list.

There were times I would fall asleep with my phone still in my hand, or even mid-sentence during a conversation with an actual grown-up. And even right now, as I’m writing this blog post, I’m also prepping chicken wings for dinner. That’s life these days, constantly being pulled in multiple directions, helping different people accomplish different things. Whether it’s dinner for my family, cleaning the house, or keeping up with laundry, there’s always something that needs to be done. With time (and trial), I’m learning that prioritization is key: figuring out what can be done now, and what can be left for later.

This blog has become an outlet for me; a way to process everything I’m experiencing and connect with a community of other parents (women and men) who can relate to the challenges of this transition.

The temptation is always strong to abandon myself, to keep pouring until my cup is bone dry. But the truth is, when I do that, I can’t show up for anyone. Not in the way I want to, not in the way I know how. So I’ve been reevaluating how I show up, both for others and for myself.

What I’m learning is that balance doesn’t mean giving equally to everyone. Balance is protecting enough energy to still show up for myself the way I show up for others. It’s remembering that my needs matter too.

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If you’re in the same place, here’s what I’ve found helps when everyone is pulling you in different directions:

• Accept that you can’t do it all. There’s freedom in admitting there’s only so much time and energy in a day. It’s hard I know

• Set boundaries. “I can’t take that on right now” is a complete sentence, whether it’s at home, at work, or with friends.

• Prioritize what only you can do. Some things can wait. Some things can be delegated. Some things aren’t yours to carry.

• Give yourself permission to rest. Rest isn’t wasted time, it’s fuel. I know there’s always something to do, but you can’t do it all without rest.

• Protect one small thing that’s just for you. A walk, a bath, journaling, ten minutes of quiet, whatever fills your cup, hold onto it.

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Showing up for yourself doesn’t take away from your family or your friends. It strengthens you so you can keep showing up for them in the ways that matter most.

When my cup is empty, I can’t move forward. But when I protect my own energy, even just a little, I can keep going. Not just as a mom, partner, worker, or friend, but as me.