The Postpartum Depression No One Talks About

Talaya Murphy
Oct 13
2 min read

When I was younger, I thought sleeping all day, avoiding people, and feeling like my existence was a burden were just normal parts of being a teenager. I didn’t know that what I was feeling was depression. Not until my 20s, when a therapist finally helped me put a name to it.

So when I got pregnant, I was terrified about what would happen after giving birth. I already lived with depression, so the idea of postpartum depression (PPD) felt like a storm I might not be strong enough to face.

And yet, even though so many women I know have gone through it, postpartum depression is still something we rarely talk about out loud, with detail.

The Reality Behind the Smiles

When I made a post about postpartum depression on Instagram, I was surprised by how little people responded. Of those who did, thank you for not just saying you experienced it but provided insight to how shocked they were by what it really looks like.

No one warned them about the rage, no one warned me about the rage. The kind that creeps up out of nowhere and makes you feel like you’re losing control. Or about the breakouts that show up when your hormones go haywire and make you feel even worse about your reflection.

And no one told us that for some women, it doesn’t end after a few months. One mom shared that her child is older now, and she still feels the shadow of PPD hanging over her.

We’re taught to watch for sadness after birth, but postpartum depression doesn’t always look like crying in the dark. Sometimes it’s irritability, exhaustion, guilt, or even numbness. Sometimes it’s feeling like you don’t recognize yourself anymore; as a mother, as a partner, or as a woman.

The Stats Tell the Story

Perinatal depression — which includes both pregnancy and the year after giving birth affects about 1 in 7 women, according to the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI).

Nearly 85% of new mothers experience “baby blues,” and for some, that deepens into something more serious.

Studies show that 27.7% of women who experience postpartum blues go on to develop perinatal depression. Even more eye-opening: one study found that 25% of participants were still experiencing depression three years after giving birth.

And it’s not just mothers — a French study showed that 17.5% of new fathers also experience postpartum blues.

It’s a family issue, not just a “mom issue.”

The Hidden Symptoms No One Warns You About

While the most recognized signs of depression include sadness and hopelessness, postpartum depression often comes with its own twist.

Symptoms can include:

Depressed or anxious mood most of the day
Loss of interest or pleasure in things you once enjoyed
Rage or irritability
Sleep disturbances — too much or too little
Feeling worthless or guilty
Fatigue or loss of energy
Trouble concentrating or making decisions
Changes in appetite or weight
Intrusive thoughts or fear of harm coming to you or your baby

What makes it harder is that new moms are constantly told to “enjoy every moment.” So when you don’t feel joy, the guilt piles on. You start wondering, What’s wrong with me?