What Breastfeeding Taught Me About Patience, Pain, and Power

Talaya Murphy
Aug 7
3 min read

Not Just About Milk

They don’t tell you that breastfeeding isn’t just about milk. It’s like a lifestyle—one where you're surrendering your body all over again to your child.

You’d think after they lived inside you for the better part of a year, you’d finally get your body back.

Think again.

Breastfeeding taught me things about myself, about my body, and about motherhood. It’s a crash course in patience, pain, and a quiet kind of power that only mothers seem to understand.

Especially the pain part—whether it’s from a poor latch, the wrong flange size, or confusing “express” with “massage” mode (a mistake I’ve made way too many times at those 3 a.m. sleep-deprived pump sessions).

The Doubt No One Talks About

In the beginning, I was filled with doubt.

Am I even producing anything?

Is she getting enough?

Am I the problem?

Why does something so “natural” feel so hard?

But slowly, I began to trust my body—and the schedule the lactation consultant gave me.

Not because it was perfect, but because I was providing my child with milk designed just for her.

Even when I was tired.

Even when I was unsure.

Even when I felt like I had nothing left.

And believe me…I thought I was tapped. But sure enough, something always came out.

Somehow, my body always had more to give.

The Quiet Strength We Gain

But that giving didn’t come without pain. Physically—raw nipples, engorgement (which literally feels like bricks in your chest), and thankfully, I didn’t deal too much with clogged ducts. But it’s a real risk, especially if you’re not sticking to a schedule—or when life is just life-ing.

Side note: Those little bumps of milk you can feel inside your breast? Wild. Engorgement is truly a trip.

And then there’s the emotional pain—being the only one who can feed your baby when you’re running on fumes. The pain of sacrificing sleep, comfort, and your autonomy for someone else’s survival.

But in that pain, I found power.

You find power.

Power in getting up at 3 a.m., bleary-eyed, to nurse your crying baby.

Power in learning how to latch, how to pump, how to try again after every failed attempt.

Power in saying, “I need rest,” and choosing to feed your baby in whatever way your body can.

Power in choosing your version of motherhood.

And don’t get me wrong, there’s also this pressure that comes in waves—this fear of failing, of not doing it “right.” I wanted to make sure that whatever I chose—nursing, pumping, combo feeding—my baby was getting the nourishment she needed.

You Are Enough

Breastfeeding showed me how much we give—but also how much we gain. It’s a sacred transaction, even when it’s messy. We give our bodies, our time, our energy. And in return, we gain resilience. We gain connection. We gain strength we didn’t know we had.

I never knew something so hard could make me feel so deeply rooted. So alive. So mother.

Sometimes, no one sees the struggle behind the smile we put on. I know there are days I’ve had barely any sleep, or I’ve just felt off—but I still smile at my daughter to start her day on the right foot. Because her light depends on mine, and that alone is reason to keep going.

So if you’re somewhere in the thick of it, wondering if you're doing enough—know this: