When Is the Right Time to Have a Baby? Spoiler: It Doesn’t Exist

If you’re waiting for the “perfect time” to have a baby, you’ll be waiting forever.

There’s no letter in the mail, no perfectly timed email, no flashing billboard that says, “Hey, today’s the day. Everything in your life is perfectly aligned for a baby.”

But for years, I thought there would be.

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You couldn’t tell my younger, naïve self any different. I was convinced that by 25 I’d be married, living in a cute house, with at least one baby in the picture. I’d have it all figured out. The joke was on me.

At 25, I could barely decide what I wanted for lunch, let alone commit to an “ideal vision” of family life. I was still figuring myself out (I still am, btw), working a job that didn’t pay enough, with barely decent health insurance, trying to define what “stability” even meant.

Somewhere along the way, I made a deal with myself: If I’m not with the right partner by 32, I’ll take steps to have a child on my own. It was my way of taking control of my future—or at least trying to.

Now here I am at 31. I have a beautiful daughter who I love more than anything. And yet, I’d be lying if I said the thought, maybe I should have waited longer, never crossed my mind. It can be a battle of guilt and uncertainty. But it’s not because I regret her — not even for a second.

It’s because I want so much for her.

I want her to have all the things I didn’t have growing up. I want her to start life 18 miles ahead of where I began, with opportunities, resources, and a sense of security that I had to fight to create for myself.

There were times I couldn’t get new shoes and had to wear ones that were one to two sizes too small. I had to hand-wash my clothes in the sink because my mom couldn’t afford doing a full load at the laundromat. Opportunities that might have made me a dancer turning a dream into reality.

That’s a lot of pressure to carry as a parent — while trying to care for the inner child within myself — especially when you’re still building your own stability.

The truth is, there’s no perfect time for kids. There will always be something else on the to-do list: a promotion you’re chasing, debt you want to pay off, trips you still want to take, lazy mornings you want to savor.

We convince ourselves we’ll “know” when we’re ready — but life doesn’t usually work like that.

You can take the leap when you feel somewhat prepared. It could happen unexpectedly and you rise to the occasion.

And sometimes, you decide the leap isn’t for you at all — and that’s just as valid.

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Parenthood, when it comes, reshapes everything. The pace of your life changes. The freedom you once had shifts. Your body changes!

I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss waking up at 11 a.m., doing whatever I wanted, or booking random vacations without checking anyone’s calendar. Brunch — man, oh man, do I miss brunch!

Those were good times, too.

But parenthood isn’t about perfect timing. It’s about the love you pour in once you get there. It’s about the grit it takes to keep showing up, even when you’re exhausted and unsure.

It’s about growing alongside this tiny human who changes your definition of “ready” every single day.

So no, there’s never a perfect time. There’s just your time.

And when it comes, it won’t be flawless — but it might be exactly what your life needed to become something even more beautiful.