Where Has Our Community Gone? A Mother’s Call for Kindness

Motherhood is hard.

Raising a tiny human requires more support than any of us ever admit out loud.

Lately, I’ve been noticing how little community we actually have. What happened to looking out for one another?

What happened to checking in on your neighbor, your friend, your coworker — especially when you can see they’re struggling?

And even more specifically: what happened to kindness among women?

Somewhere along the way, we slipped into competition. Who’s doing motherhood “right,” who looks more put together, whose relationship seems perfect, whose kid is hitting milestones “on time.” It’s like we’ve become accidental opponents instead of natural allies.

But here’s the truth:

It’s already hard enough being a woman in a world that wasn’t built for us.

Why add more judgment on top of that?

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The world already finds reasons to shame us: too loud, too quiet, working too much, not working enough, breastfeeding too long, not breastfeeding at all, being too soft, too strong, having too many kids, getting married early or late, too much of anything. But shame shouldn’t be coming from one another. That’s a wound that cuts deeper than we realize.

Motherhood isn’t a performance, and it’s definitely not an Olympic competition. It’s a journey and we all are walking different paths with different obstacles. Everyone at one point was a first-time mom.

You can not know what to do and ask for help.

You can love your child(ren) and still need a break.

You can show up for your family and still want time for yourself.

You can be exhausted and grateful at the same time.

And we should be supporting each other through all of that; not adding more weight onto shoulders that are already carrying too much.

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So if no one has told you lately:

You’re allowed to not know.

You’re allowed to ask for help.

You’re allowed to not be judged.

Let’s be softer with ourselves.

Let’s be kinder to one another.

Let’s build back the community we all deserve — one honest moment, one helping hand, one bit of grace at a time.

If my writing speaks to you and you want to support this space, you can do so here. Your kindness means more than you know.

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