Growing Through Life, What I Let Go

Isn’t it funny how, as teenagers, we place wildly unrealistic expectations on our future? Not speaking for everyone—some people are fortunate enough to check every box, hit every goal, and execute every plan just as intended.

But what we often forget is to leave room for life—for the unexpected wrenches, the missed turns, and the emotional potholes that show up along the way.

We can’t plan for the loss of people we love. We don’t anticipate that the “dream job” might feel more draining than fulfilling. We don’t expect friendships to drift, or relationships to end. And yet... life happens anyway.

For me, one of those unexpected detours was a nearly five-year relationship with someone I met online through Bumble. We dated for about two months before making it official, and while the relationship didn’t end the way I’d hoped, it taught me so much—especially about myself.

There were moments I was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, clinging to what I wanted it to be instead of seeing it for what it truly was. For a long time, I felt like I had wasted a huge chunk of my twenties. But with distance and growth, I’ve realized it shaped me in necessary ways.

It forced me to examine how I communicate. It showed me how much I let outside noise influence decisions that should’ve been mine alone. If I’m honest, that relationship probably should have ended after two years—but we live and we learn.

And without it ending when it did, I wouldn’t have landed the job I have now—one that’s brought me a (somewhat) better balance between work and life. That ending pushed me to commit to the gym, shed emotional and physical weight, meet my now-fiancé, and become a mother to my daughter. That detour was part of the journey. It prepared me for everything I have now (well, sort of).

Yes, I know—with hard work and determination... blah, blah, blah. But honestly?

Sometimes, it’s okay to pivot. To walk away from someone who was only meant for a season. To admit you're tired. Because even with all the planning in the world, life will still throw you curveballs. Always.

What matters most is how we respond.

Do we fold under pressure—or find strength within ourselves?

Do we let detours define us—or grow from them?

Seeing others reach milestones faster than you is not a measure of your worth or success. We’re all on different timelines, learning different lessons, collecting different wins and losses.

If life were easy, everything would go exactly as planned. But where’s the growth in that?

So no, life didn’t go the way I mapped it out at 18… or 21… or even 25. But maybe that’s the point. The relationship I thought set me back actually set the stage.

The job I wasn’t sure about gave me the space I needed. The version of love I left behind made room for the kind I have now—with my fiancé, with my daughter, and most importantly, with myself.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. Sometimes the delays, the detours, and the disappointments are just redirections. Proof that you’re still becoming. Still unfolding. And that the story isn’t over—it’s just getting better with every twist.

Have you ever had a setback turn into the start of something better? I’d love to hear what life has taught you, too.